Candyland

The rules of the children's game, Candyland, are simple. One chooses one of four brightly colored gingerbread men and places them at the start. Then one picks a card from the deck of face-down cards and moves the gingerbread man forward to the appropriate spaces, generally one or two colored spaces. To make the game more exciting, there are several points along the trail with a special picture, a gummy drop or lollipop. If one gets the card with one of the special pictures, one moves to that space. It can be a great leap forward or back, depending where you are in the game. The object of the game is to reach the Candy King's castle first.

My kids love this game. Laney, especially, LOVES this game. She wants to play it all day long. ALL. DAY. LONG. Now, I know what you're thinking.

"Nothing sounds more exciting that an all-day marathon of Candyland. Playing the game again and again and again and again must be such fun!"

You'd be wrong, my friend. Oh. So. Very. Wrong.

Mostly, it's a problem of the rules. There are The Rules, and there are Laney's Rules. She knows how to play correctly. She has even done so on occasion, but she prefers to live dangerously, playing by her own Candyland rules.

Laney's Rules for Candyland

1. The picture cards are the best cards. The others, boring. Take all the picture cards and put them on the top of the draw pile. Even if the cards are face up, act surprised and happy when you pull your favorite, the lollipop girl. Joyfully move your gingerbread man to the appropriate space. When all the picture cards have been drawn, put them back at the top of the pile and start again. This way, the game NEVER ends, because you move only among the "fun" spaces. Remember to act surprised every time you pull a card from the pile.

2. When forced to use the boring ole colored cards, if it indicates you are to move ahead to the next blue space, you can really move back a blue space or ahead three blue spaces, or to another colored space of your choosing. If your picky older brother starts yelling about "cheating" and "not playing with you anymore," just shake your head from side to side and say, "Noooo." Watch his face twist in frustration. You can also yell back, thus increasing the amusement of the other players, namely, mommy.

3. You can decide to be a different gingerbread man at any point in the game -- your older brother's will cause the most excitement. If he objects, just pick up his gingerbread man and run. Run until he catches you (because he is bigger, stronger, and faster) and wrestles you to the ground. Scream at the top of your longs in outrage. Don't give in until the fight ends in tears for both of you. As you may have guessed, mommy is generally very entertained by this behavior.

4. When you are finished playing, scatter the cards to the four winds and hide the gingerbread men. When no one can find them later, act very confused indeed. If mommy does find all the pieces and puts the game away, let her have her minute, then drag it back out and ask to play again.

One can never play too much Candyland.