Speaking of which. . .

And so the whole, "Better you than me" equality speech was meant to segue into the following story. And then I never actually segued. . .and poof! There went another month!

I was actually waiting to download photos for this story. . .Blah, blah.

Sooooooooooooooooooo, anyhoo. . .

I was gone for an hour and a half. When I left all seemed relatively calm in the house.

When I got home, I was greeted by the sight of this. . .

(Insert picture of Laney with white, mooshy stuff in bangs and covered in greasy substance)

I wasn't quite sure what I was seeing when Laney announced calmly, "Nicky put gum in my hair."

"What?" (You know, getting up in years. Hearing can play tricks on ya.)

"Nicky put gum in my hair," she said again. (No tricks)

Nicky was sitting in the living room. As I walked past him toward the kitchen, he studiously looked the other way.

Seven was in the kitchen making a snack for the kids, trying very hard to appear calm. And failing. He was hunched over the counter making the kids a sandwich, shoulders tensed.

When he looked up, his eyes had the look of a wild animal caught in a trap. Although he said little, the eyes are the window to the soul, and what I saw flashing behind them was, "PLEASE! SOMEBODY HELP ME! PLEASE!! I JUST WANT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

I pieced together what happened, and apparently it was this:

Nicky and Laney were chewing gum when I left. And what idiot gave them gum, you wonder? Mom, the one who just left. Shortly two seconds after I left the scene, Laney decided it would be fun to try and stick her gum in Nicky's shirt. He wasn't having any of that. He'd show her! The best way to do this was by smashing his own gum straight into her forehead. And hair.

Seven heard the commotion, came in to see that Laney had a wad of gum right in the middle of her bangs. Not knowing what to do, he checked the Internet. He was actually very sweet in trying to save her hair.

The Internet said to put cooking oil in the hair and gum, let the gum soften, then comb it out. Seven decided this meant bathe the front of Laney's head in cooking oil. I think he was a tad frustrated by the whole situation, really. Men! Such lightweights when it comes to this sort of thing.

When the gum softened, Seven tried to comb it out. One can't get get a comb through Laney's hair in the best of times. This was not the best of times. Laney began to shriek and twist, then ran away, leaving Seven shaken and tired.

He decided to wait until I came home, an hour later, thinking I would have more success.

By the time I got home, the gum had hardened into a little lump in the center of her very greasy hair. I made a superficial attempt at combing it out.

As. If.

So I just did what hubby should have just done in the first place, bless his heart, and cut it out. I also cut out a tangle while I was there.