When kids dress themselves

Submitted as further evidence that boys and girls simply come out of the womb wired differently.



Nicky, in his four-plus years on this Earth, has never cared about what he wears. Okay, that's not totally true. He did, for a brief period, insist on wearing a towel draped around his shoulders as a Superman cape, and he hates to wear shorts, even on hot summer days. Other than that, he doesn't really pay attention. Spiderman undies? Check. Socks pulled up to the knees? Check. Pants? Shirt? Check. Check. Good to go. I don't even bother asking him what he wants to wear. In the past, if I did, then he gave me this look, "As if I have time to worry about those things! That's YOUR job, Mom!"

Laney, on the other hand, has already begun to pick out her own clothes. Obviously, details like color coordination are incidental. She insisted on the outfit above. I picked out the leggings in the belief that I would actually get a matching dress over them. I was wrong. So very wrong. She had to have on those two shirts, and she had to have on those shoes. I could fight her on it and risk the impending meltdown or I could just let it go. She's two and a half. There is many a battle to be fought when you have a two-and-a-half-year-old in the house, and you must pick your battles wisely. And you will still lose. Often. So if that's what she wanted to wear, then that's what she would wear.

It amazes me to see how insistent she is about her clothes. It doesn't matter how it looks, it's the fact that the decision is hers. I've heard other mothers of young girls complain about the clothing battles they have with their daughters. It is inevitable that there will come a time when you want to put a sign on your child's head that says, "My mommy DID NOT pick this outfit. I like to dress myself."

Luckily, I heard about this struggle when my son was two. I had no idea of what these other mothers were gabbing on about, but I listened anyway. MY two-year-old never fought me about which shirt to wear. It was, of course, because my two-year-old was a boy, but I didn't know that it made that much difference at that age. Now, I know better. (I also know how to handle it, thanks to those who've come before. Pick two or three color-coordinated options, then let her pick one of those. Everyone wins.)

I realize that not every child wears every gender stereotype comfortably. There are fastidious-dressing boys in the world, just as there are girls who prefer Spiderman underwear to princess ones. It's just that my kids seem to fall into their gender 'roles' time and again without my having anything to do with it. Nicky likes trains. Laney likes bling. I had nothing to do with any of that. I have no doubt that with time, Laney will not be caught dead in lilac, red, and pink with silver shoes. Instead, she'll spend hours hogging up the bathroom trying to get her look just so and shrieking in frustration that she has NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING, to wear! Really, I should enjoy this time that the fun of clothes is simply in the putting them on.