Birds and Bees

When Nicky first asked me the question of why boys have penises and girls don't, I thought I was reasonably ready with an answer. He was three at the time and I wasn't ready to discuss any use of his penis other than for urination. I simply told him that boys had to have a penis so Mommys and Daddys could know if they had a girl or a boy at the hospital.

"Can you imagine if you didn't have a penis? Then maybe I'd have thought you were a girl! Maybe I would have put you in a pink dress!" We just dissolved into giggles at the ridiculous thought.

Done.

The question of girls and boys and anatomy has come up again, but it's taken on a different form.

"Do girls pee out of their butt?"

Of course, I understand why he would think that. How else could they pee, considering the anatomical challenges of not having a penis. And to the uninitiated, that's kind of what it looks like anyway.

Now that he's four, I want to give him a truthful explanation of anatomy. Yet, how exactly does one do that about girls? For boys, it's simple. The necessary equipment is dangling there for all to see. Girls are tucked away all neatly inside. My kids have seen each other naked. Both are very well aware that Nicky has a penis. At least, she's stopped trying to grab at it in the bath! He, on the other hand, is tugging on it every time it's exposed.

Both Nicky and Laney think she's all butt from front to back. Again, to the uninitiated, it kind of looks like that anyway. For now, I've just said that girls don't have a penis, but a small hole that's tucked away inside and pee comes out of there not out of their butt. I purposely avoided any discussion of the 'other place.' The explanation worked, but I could see that it didn't satisfy. Why do we need different parts at all? I could see he wanted more, but wasn't really quite sure what he wanted to ask.

And thank the gods for that.

I dread the time when I have to have a real discussion with my kids about their bodies--at least the private parts of them. Is anyone comfortable using the word vagina around their children? The kids know what Nicky has and what Laney doesn't. However, that Laney has anything at all is still shrouded in mystery. Luckily, Nicky knows that babies live in the tummies of Mommies, but it's never occured to him to ask how they got there. (And I say tummy, not uterus. Seriously, Nicky still struggles over the correct pronounciation of simpler English words, I'm not about to unleash uterus on him. Take that, childcare experts!)

When the time comes, I could go the German route. They apparently have picture books to tell the story. The images are very cute and child-friendly. But, let's just say, I think I might die flipping through pages of this book with the kids.

I am living in Europe, but I'm still a prudish American at heart.

What do you think? Would you use this book ? (Click on link)