We all have our illusions

Before actually having kids, I think most people have unrealistic ideas about what it's like to have kids. Some people think they will be able to get their baby to sleep through the night at one month old. (Yeah. Good luck!) Some people think they can actually get something done around the house while baby is sleeping. (As if babies sleep except when you're passed out in exhaustion underneath them). Others think that THEIR kids will never throw a tantrum in the middle of a shopping center, and even if they did, these people think they know how to handle it. (Does anyone know how to handle the temper of a 2-year-old?)

I prided myself on the fact that I held no such illusions. I figured all children were nightmares all of the time, which is why I had seriously thought about getting my tubes tied before having kids. This lovely attitude worked out for me those first years, because I was prepared for children/babies of the corn, and it turned out I actually got two fantastic kids.

However, I realize now that I did have at least one illusion. I thought I would be able to get through the incessant question-asking phase of a 4-year-old with grace and aplomb. I genuinely (and laughably, I now see) thought I would ENJOY their curiosity. I would give thoughtful answers to questions, and if I didn't know the answers we could look them up in the encyclopedia or Wikipedia. "Why is the sky blue?" "Well, honey, let's see if we can find out together."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The problem is that my son doesn't wonder why the sky is blue. The questions on his mind are:

Why is the regular Spiderman red and the bad Spiderman black?
Where does Darth Vader live? Why does Darth Vader live far, far away?
Can he hear us if we talk this quiet?
Why is he evil? Why did his teacher teach him bad things?
Why hasn't anyone built an underwater city?

Keep in mind he has never seen Star Wars or a Spiderman film. He learned about Spiderman from a friend and his imagination took off. He learned about Darth Vader from a commercial when we were in the States and he has been fascinated ever since.

Even when I try to give him thoughtful answers to questions, "The evil Spiderman has a black soul, so his outfit reflects the blackness in his heart." Blah, blah, blah. He listens thoughtfully and then asks the SAME QUESTION again. And again. And again. Grrrrrr. How often do we have to have this discussion about the black Spiderman? Why do I bother coming up with an answer?

Tonight before his bath he started asking me all of these random questions about Darth Vader. Finally, I told him, "I don't know, Nicky. I don't know everything about Darth Vader."

"Why don't you know everything? Didn't you see that movie? Why don't you know when people ask you questions about Darth Vader?"

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHEN DARTH VADER SLEEPS AND I DON'T KNOW WHY HE CAN'T WEAR A HAPPY DARTH VADER MASK!

Of course, my question to him, which I left unasked, was:

Why don't you just leave me alone?!?!

So much for handling the incessant-question-asking-phase with grace and aplomb.
Halloween 2007 Why is the red Spiderman wearing sandals and why is Supergirl picking her nose? Some things in life are simply mysteries kiddo.